Are you a bit of a nerd? Do you wait until the very last minute before publishing a ridiculous birthday wish list for your friends and family who naturally don’t follow it? If this is true, this list is for you.

Under $20

Gentoo Linux – $1

You’ve conquered Ubuntu and many other turd-friendly Linux distributions. But you can only truly look like a geek once you’ve used Gentoo . Watch your friends marvel at you as you use your l33t haxor skills to compiled a program that you could have easily picked up in Add/Remove Programs in any other distribution. Your friends will be able to pick up a copy of Gentoo Linux for approximately the same price as your life is worth from OneDollarLinux .

http://onedollarlinux.com

Pi T-Shirt – $15

So maybe you don’t have enough time to be with Gentoo Linux but you can still look the ultimatum of geekiness without even being near a computer. So if you don’t have enough time for Gentoo, the Pi By Numbers T-Shirt is for you. Yes that’s correct, you too can own a Pi Shirt that doesn’t just have the Pi symbol, oh no. The Pi Symbol is spelled out with the first 4493 digits of Pi which is sure to increase you nerdiness. Just be sure to wear it on National Pi Day, which is March 14. Think about it.

Your friends and family will be able to pick the shirt up from ThinkGeek for a bargain at $14.99-$15.99 depending on how fat you are.

http://thinkgeek.com

Under $50

A New Face – $35

So you’re butt ugly, you look like you’ve just been mauled by goats and run over by a 16 wheeler. But did you know there’s a way to look sparkling new again for under $50? Yes, your friends will be able to pick up a sexy new face for as little as $35. The Comedy Zone are selling these nifty numbers in all shapes and sizes. The masks very in price and you can pick them up from the Comedy Zone’s website.

http://www.comedy-zone.net

Google Lava Lamp™ – $47

You’re in with it, and you too think Google is awesome. But would you like to take that one step further by just making that obsession a bit excessive? If yes, you’ll surely want a weird Google Lava Lamp. They’re a complete rip off at $47 but with one, who knows what you could do. Thus making a Google Lava Lamp a must have for your next birthday. Your friends will be able to purchase a Google Lava Lamp off the official Google Store for the highly expensive price of $47. Check out the lamp at their website.

http://www.google-store.com

Under $100

Ocarina – $60

Haven’t you been able to sleep since you played that classic Zelda game, thinking I need one of those . Now your biggest wish might soon come true, if you put a Zelda Ocarina on your wish list. A free instructional booklet is included to teach you how to play, so you should be playing some fabulous tunes with this snazzy instrument in no time!

However, don’t expect any magical things to happen when you play it. It’s only an ocarina, after all. But your generous friends will only have to pay $59.99 to get one from STL Ocarina.

http://www.stlocarina.com/

Swiss Memory Knife USB – $69-99

Don’t you just hate those times when you’ve been caught hacking into the guy next door’s computer only to discover your USB stick wasn’t the perfect Swiss army knife you thought it was. Thankfully, that is now a thing of the past with the Swiss Memory USB. Not only can you back stab your boss as he asks you to pick up a new ink cartridge, but you can also perform 30 second circumcision with the highly convenient Swiss style scissors. Whether you’re a geek or psychopath alike, this is a must have. Your friends will most stupidly be able to pick this weapon of mass destruction up from ThinkGeek for between $69 and $99 depending on how much storage you need. Not only that, but ThinkGeek will chuck in 20 years inside as well.

http://thinkgeek.com

A Hell of a Lot of Money

A Jet – More Money Then You’ll Ever Have and 8 cents

Don’t you just love feeling of the wind through your hair, being up there where the air is clear? If so, this isn’t for you. Because the chance of a jet pumping out CO2-free gas is zero. However, if poisoning the earth doesn’t bother you, your own Private Jet is a must have from the millionaire in the family. Air Partner are selling these babies for way to much money. After you’ve stabbed the guy next door with your Swiss Memory USB, a speedy escape in a Jet is a must do. So, if you’re game, and have friends who realise that Jet’s are a brilliant way of getting rid of you, your own Private Jet is a must have. Who knows? This could be you!

http://airpartner.org

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 6th, 2008 at 1:23 pm and is filed under Off-topic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.